Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Yes, it is all just one big test, isn't it?

It's a test of patience, of which I'm slowing growing some. It's a test of staying power. It's a test of sticking by one's guns and for what is right. In this context, I'm speaking of work. What an interesting ball of crap this all is.

It's also a test in my personal life. How confused can I get? I think that is the ultimate test. With T I've been careful to not start conversations, as I don't want to seem needy or clingy. I've finally stopped having thoughts of him first thing when I wake up. I kinda miss that, but it's not in my control anyway, so I have to give that up. So what's happened? I get messages from him more frequently than I used to. I generally started the day's conversations, but now he is doing this. It's neither a bad nor a good thing. It just is. Overall, things feel much as they did before. We get along well. We play together. We still make innuendos, though I think less than previously. We don't talk of snuggling, nor of kisses. Really, that feels like the only change. How odd is this? We've gone from lovers/bf-gf to "just friends". Yep, a test, for sure.

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