Saturday, December 27, 2008

The holidays:
I love the holidays; seeing cities glittering with sparkly lights, cheerful displays in shop windows, wreaths greeting visitors to homes, unpacking ornaments to decorate a tree and remembering when they were received, hot chocolate, vacation time, cold weather.

I hate the holidays; the busy-ness, the rushed feelings, the feelings of not mattering to people I care about, of being too busy cooking and trying to feed 10 people that you can't sit down to see what your family has been giving each other, and of receiving one "dog house" gift (refer to: Oops, not that link, this one:
(this year it was speakers to the car my ex-drives) while my ex receives well thought out gifts from the kids (a new cell phone, charger, and a DVD he really wanted, in addition to the tools he bought for himself in the name of the kids). I think the worst part is feeling that I don't matter.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

hour in a day

I wish the day would end only when everything one needed /wanted to get done was done. That sleep happened until one was refreshed and ready to start again. There are so many things I want to get done every day, and yet so little time to do them.
Had a nice dinner with Carrie, and talked about things we wanted to do. I want to see a few shows that are currently playing; one in SF and one in Berkeley. When? I think I just need to get tickets and GO, regardless of what's planned or what is due. I think the goal for this year is to take care of myself and not take care so much of everyone around me. Easier said than done, I know.

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