Thursday, September 2, 2010


Wow, some choices are extremely difficult and some are so much easier.

Been on jury duty for a murder trial since mid-July.  I must say, it is interesting, but very slow.  We have 4 counts to decide upon and we have been successful with 3 of them.  This last one is hanging us up.  We let the judge know of our difficulties and she is working on getting us more information, either from the law or from additional witnesses.  I am glad for that.

As far as TD goes, I am extremely frustrated.  He's gotten into a shelter and he has therapy and medications.  The ONLY shelter that was available to him is a Christian one, and I mentioned to him that he may have to just jump through the hoops that have been presented to him for a while, in order to survive.  I got an "I CAN'T DO IT" message back, about how he wanted to gouge out his eyes when he was in the midst of a religious service, even though we had talked about strategies to get through those times, by considering them as meditation times.  He then had the cajones to call me a hypocrite.  Does he want to sever all ties with me, cause that is one thing I cannot stand; to try to help someone and then get slapped for it.  Today we IM'd for a short while and he apologized, but got off a comment how its not fair to him that I want to take things day by day and that I cannot commit to being there for him.

On the other hand, I have glo, the youngin'  I have known for almost 10 years now.  His unfortunate trait is that he, too, drinks too much.  His drinking, though, is different. He has never once been rude to me, he has been respectful of me and polite, and he is smart, although a tad naive at times.  He also has a very literal and romantic streak in him.  The differences between these two people are night and day, and yet they both have similar issues.  They both have families with mental illness in them, but one family is extremely dysfunctional and the other family appears to function quite well, in their modest way.

I wish the jury choices were as clear to me as friendship choices have been for me lately.  Some things are far too difficult and others are far too easy.

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