Thursday, August 27, 2009

Age has its benefits

I know I'm stubborn. This has been a trait of mine since I was a baby. Mom tells the story of how I learned how to walk at 9 months of age because I was so stubborn and determined. She'd put me in one of those walkers, but the width of the contraption frustrated me and hindered my free reign in my grandparents' house, so I simply picked up the walker and walked with it held off the ground, with me still in the middle.

Being stubborn couples with having a real hard time admitting I'm wrong and apologizing. Sure, if I bump someone on the sidewalk, an "Excuse me" flows pretty freely from my lips. I'm talking about the I-did-something-stupid-to-a-friend- kinda apology that has been difficult for me to 1) recognize and 2) apologize for. Maybe this is because a few of my friends are so quick to point out my faults, that apologizing for my blunders feels as if my nose is being rubbed in it. Regardless, I had a lightbulb moment the other day. I was moody at the time, but was with a friend. I went off and did my own thing for a short while, leaving my friend alone when he wanted the company. I woke up the next morning with a flash of understanding. I've been in that situation before, and I had been angered and hurt by it in the past. An apology in that situation was easy and it was very much desired to be given.

Not sure what it is about getting older that allows one to soften and mellow. I *wanted* to apologize. This friend means so much to me that there was no way I could not acknowledge my blunder. I wanted to let him know that I understood how rude I had been. This is one time I'm grateful for this aging process, as it is making me a better person.

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