Oops, I forgot to post for a LONG time

It's been a long year.  I'm much better now, thank you. I got a new job 7/25/11 and on that day I flew to Madison, WI for training.  A few days later I flew home, arriving home around 2 am, only to turn around and head back to the airport with my kids to go on vacation (which was its own ordeal).  I return from 2 weeks in Europe to do the same - arrive in the evening and head out the next morning on a 6 am flight. Only this time I'm jet-lagged.  Learning something when one is horribly tired is difficult.  A flight back home, a weekend free, and back out to Wisconsin yet again for more training.  I believe it was 18 flights in 4 weeks.  Since then, I have been certified in Epic Orders, I've supported a "go-live" event which included 3 hospitals, working 130 hrs in 2 weeks. And I'm tired!
  I just heard that the hospital is asking for more support over the next two weeks, so I may be heading back to more 12 hour shifts.. I guess I can rest when I'm dead.

Team work

I believe most people recognize good teamwork when it happens.  What is involved?  Good team members, good leadership, clear communication, understood and common goals, and practice trying to get there.  Most good teams have pre and post meetings surrounding important events.

When teams have dissent, unclear communication and unclear goals, then chaos reins.  Decisions by leaders will be questioned because the decisions were not made through a team process and members of the team will question every decision made when done without input.
 
I currently work where we do not reliably have good teamwork. Leaders have pulled themselves from discussions with the team members, decisions are questioned as they appear to go against the standing practice, team members, due to lack of leadership following agreed upon rules, feel free to go their own way.  Everyone is not working well together, to say the least.  I currently hate where I work.  I hate the favoritism, I hate the lack of communication, I hate the "us vs  them" feeling, the secretiveness, and the general flavor of the place.

Thoughts on love, for Valentines Day

I had messaged some of my friends/family members earlier today, wishing them a Happy Valentine’s Day.  The mother of my somewhat of a boyfriend (he lives far away, so I am reluctant to call him a boyfriend) texted me back with words of wisdom about love.

She said:  "Love is an interesting concept. We want it, we need it, we miss it, we fight for it, we can’t define it for quantify it. It comes and goes, it changes and lasts forever.  You know it when you have it and you know when you don’t."

My response:  And so many flavors of it exist; lover, parent, friend, humankind, to name just a few.

I was pondering this, and pondering over my conversation with glomund last night.  I ponder because there is a significant age gap between us, with me being 17 years older than him.  I began to realize that the age difference doesn’t matter so much.  I likened us to being two pieces of a puzzle that fit together well.  He thinks I am beautiful and I very much admire his voice.  Both of us don’t think we have the qualities the other admires, and yet, we are pleased with the other.

So many characteristics we find pleasing about the other.  I enjoy his concern for me and his frequent checks that I am okay.  He appreciates that I care about his thermal comfort, as he is oftentimes far too warm for comfort.  It doesn’t matter so much that one of us is younger than the other, what matters is that we bring out good characteristics in the other person. I could go on forever, but the points itself don't matter.  What does matter is that we become better people because of the other one.

With love, one becomes the person one wants to be.

Grateful

Processing the intake paperwork today.  Many of the admissions from this weekend are the same story; placental abruption, fetal distress, emergency cesarean delivery, baby depressed but okay.

I am so grateful for two healthy kids. So very grateful.

It's Official

It's Christmas Eve!  It's official.  Family craziness has just begun.  Mom can't be in the same room with Dad, although I still live with MY ex (it's days now, before he moves to his apartment downstairs).  Dad high-tailed it to my sister's house for Christmas day, and a few days after, to stay out of Mom's wrath.  Oddly enough, at my sister's house, she will have her 3 kids come to visit (although the day AFTER christmas), She has her husband's son living with them, her mother-in-law will be visiting, her husband's other two kids will come by with their husbands or significant other, and her husband's ex will also spend the day there.  I believe my brother, his wife, and his son (but not hers) will join that part of the family for the big day, too.  At my house, I get the luck of having mom (never sure if this is good or not, the ornery bitch), my youngest sister, her dog, Bear, my kids, my ex, and any assorted friend who cares to drop in.  Carrie will head over to her traditional location at another friend's house.

Let's see. At my sister's ex's house, there is his current wife (#3). I think the police haven't been called to their house yet this year for domestic problems.  ,their two very spoiled children, and I think they may bundle up to visit his mom (the mother of NINE kids!), or his dad (who lives half time in London....divorced because he just didn't want to be a father any longer, and now has two more kids with his newer, younger wife).  Noteably, the son who is up from UCSB is choosing to stay with his brother (newly engaged) rather than at his dad's house, because he gets to babysit the two brats.

My older sister's middle child will be home for Christmas. We are hoping this will be the first of many.  After the holidays he finishes up training (he is a Ranger) at Ft Knox and then heads out to Afghanistan.  I know it will be a very emotional holiday for his family.  Thankfully, he just returned from visiting his girlfriend in Kenya, where she is serving in the Peace Corps (her blog: http://jennynakata.blogspot.com/).  The youngest of my older sister's 3 kids will be coming down with his oldest brother, with whom he is staying, to hang a day or two with the SoCal gang.

Bottom line: my family is my family.  We all love each other, although some are easier to love than others.  We, for the most part, keep good relationships with our ex's, and continue to enjoy the relationships in crazy, extended family.

Oh, I forgot, my Dad's girlfriend is feeling well enough after her surgery on her left hand (she fell, broke the wrist and now has nerve problems) and her illness that she will travel to visit with HER mother, who is 103 years old, and her two siblings, who refuse to be in the room at the same time.  *sigh*  What is with these people? You suck it up because you are FAMILY, and you need to get along in some semblance of normality.  Now Dad's girlfriend still keeps in touch with her ex.. I think that is a good thing.

My last ex, he's not bothered to respond to the last few messages left for him. No comment. He's deleted from my contact list. I don't need someone who won't treat me like family, including its feuds and bad table manners.

scam or not?

I've not been so prolific lately.  Just been dealing with life and all it has to offer.

Two things on my mind lately and neither are Earth shattering.  The first is the work ornament exchange I am hosting this week. It's a fun party and one I don't spend too much time worrying about.  It's a pot-luck, so no major cooking for me and all I have to do is have a clean (enough) house and toilet paper in the bathroom.  The lights  are up, the tree is up, and there will be a bit of furniture rearranging to make things work.  The thing I am trying not to worry about is that (apparently) people at work have been worried that hosting this party is too much for me.  Yes, I recently finished school, and yes, mom takes some time with her health, and yes, my son was recently hospitalized, but everything is pretty settled now and the party isn't that big a deal.  At first I was bothered that I had gotten a phone call from someone asking if I was still up to hosting and that she would host if I needed her too.  The call bothered me overnight, but then I realized that making those types of phone calls  are hard, and it really is just a show of concern and compassion.  I guess I should be thrilled that I have co-workers who feel that concern for me, but it still somehow felt like a vote of no-confidence.

The second thing that is on my mind is Scott.  He's a homeless man who is trying to get off the streets.  I met with  him at my front door last month and we talked for a bit. He and some of his homeless buddies are trying to raise funds to have a permanent address.  They believe it will take $5,000 to be able to do that, and have raised and saved over $3,000 towards their goal.  He asked if I could help out, and would even accept change from a change bowl I had laying about. I collected my change and some bills from my wallet and sent him on his way, after also giving him some juice to drink.

This morning Scott was at my door when I returned from dropping off one son at school.  He was happy that he found a job, but needed help for transportation until he got his first paycheck.  He promises to pay me back the $25 he's asking for.  I didn't have cash at home, so I drove him to my bank and got him some cash, then drove him to the BART station.  Maybe I am a fool for giving him cash.  My gut, though, tells me he is speaking from the heart. I do not want to be the heartless person who has no compassion for someone in need, but I also don't want to be the chump who gets taken advantage of.  This time I gave Scott a few grapefruits, which he says he loves.  I guess part of me is reflecting on my friend, TD, who is homeless in Salt Lake City. I'd like to think that someone is giving him a break now and again.

Happy Holidays, whichever holiday you celebrate.

MRSA

Who would have thought that I would have such close contact with methicillin resistant staph. Aureus? I am a nurse. I wash my hands. I have taught my family to wash their hands. Despite this, my eldest son is in the hospital with an MRSA infection of his left leg. It started this weekend, Sept. 25, 2010. He had a small wound on his leg which got a tad sore and reddened. By Monday, after treating it with topical antibiotics and warm compresses, it was the size of a 50 cent piece. This is when I called his doctor on Monday morning. By 5 pm, the time of his appointment, the redness was the size of a man's hand. He was started on antibiotics that evening. Despite the antibiotics, the wound got worse. By Wednesday morning it was red, warm, and growing. It was draining pus. My pediatrician had me take him to the emergency room of the Children's hospital. There he got the wound incised and drained. He had lab work drawn, an IV started, and IV antibiotics started.

Despite this aggressive treatment, the infection continues to grow. It is irregularly shaped, but wraps his thigh about 3/4 ths around. It extended 22cm wide by 32 cm long in the ER. I'd say it has grown 2 cm higher and 5 cm farther down below his knee. I think, I hope, the advance is slowing.

Of course, I know the worst. People die from this infection. People lose limbs. People need surgery. That would be Jons next step, surgery to properly clean and drain the infection. I am not sure when that is needed, tho.

I can admit I can scared. I feel helpless. My son doesn't feel I'll and yet he is confined to a small hospital room with me. I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Keep good thoughts. We will get through this.