Mulling over

So I am confused, as usual. In my hours of not sleeping, I've been pondering over all that has been said and done. 
Maybe one can have good sex without feelings behind it, but I can't. He's talked about the ladder theory, so maybe he can.
When I got back after the last visit earlier this month, he was talking about how well we get along. He also talked about wishing he had a king sized bed.  Don't need such a big bed if you kick your gf out of it.
I can only imagine he's puzzled, too. He seemed genuinely to love me a few weeks ago.  Again, I can't understand how one can be so easily swayed or can so easily mis-read things.

I just feel its such a horrible waste.  He's a good man. I'm a good woman. We were even better together, I thought.