It ain't equal

I've grown up knowing life isn't fair. Girls are treated differently than boys (and oh, how I used to wish I had been born a boy. Just the ability to pee in the woods was enough to make all the rest seem like cake). Blacks are treated differently than Whites. Blue collar workers are treated differently than white collar workers. Hip-hop different than classical. The list goes on and on. We all know life isn't fair and things aren't equal. Despite knowing this, it's always hard when love isn't equal. It's so much harder being the one who loves more. I know. I often do.

I see it with my friends, too. Carrie cares far more for Abe than he does, apparently, for her. I'm not sure if its just that men show it differently than women do. I'm not sure. Despite my early longings, I've never been male. I care more than Tommy does. Jimmy cares more than Jaime does. Going about life, it's wonderful when one sees couples, especially those 80 year old couples, who still hold hands and who visibly adore each other over the many years they have been together. I'd want to be an old lady like that. I'm afraid I'll never get there, though. I'm not good at picking my partners.